Your Longest Relationship

Here’s some advice. Do not rush into permanency without putting in the time. If it took you 4 years to realize your last boyfriend was not the guy for you, then you have no business thinking you’re ready to marry your current boyfriend of 1 year.

My point is, if you think 1 year is long enough to know, then you should’ve known the last one wasn’t it after a year. This mostly applies to the kids right out of high school and college. For a more mature generation, this may not be the case. But when you’re in your late teens/early twenties, you barely know who YOU are. Let alone this other person that you think you’re ready to spend your life with.

It drives me nuts when someone in the middle of their college degree, or right fresh out of high school decides they want to get married.

Here is the most important part of this whole lecture: If you are meant to be together, they will still be there waiting for you when the time comes to take that step. If that person is not willing to wait 2 more years for you to graduate, then walk away. Wait until you are done with school, have a job, are financially stable and actually able to support each other and THEN take that step. Unless an extremely low budget wedding and financial hardship were your childhood dreams…

Please note, this does not apply to everyone. There are exceptions. Please don’t be that person who reads this and thinks I’m speaking directly at you. This is a generalization about people who think they’re in love after only a few months because they’re in the honeymoon stage. Guess what folks? When you meet the man or woman of your dreams, they will drive you nuts. They’ll piss you off, they’ll make you want to pull your hair out, they will drive. you. crazy. I’ve been with Matt for 4 years and we still find out stuff about each other once in a while. And that’s saying something because we are very open with each other. We’re a much different couple than we were 3 years ago.

What makes it real love is the endurance of your heart to keep on loving through all of that. Being able to make it through the hard times without ever wavering in how you feel towards them. Second thoughts never cross your mind, and you would do anything in world for them knowing they would do the same for you.

Don’t search out love. It’s shy. Love will find you when you’re least expecting it. That’s when it’s real. It’s not a game or a process, and you can’t make it happen. You can simply play your cards well, and see where it takes you.

If you’re a young adult who thinks they’re ready to tie the knot, I’d suggest waiting until your current relationship is your longest relationship and until you’re both in that stage of your life. You want to enjoy your first year of marriage, not spend it studying calculus…

Think about it.

Origami Owl Living Lockets

So some of you may have seen my post a couple weeks ago about the Origami Owl Lockets? Well I’m super excited because I got mine in the mail yesterday and I LOVE it!

Aren’t they awesome?!?!!

If you didn’t see my post before, here’s the scoop on these awesome little gems:

My sister, Amanda, just joined this amazing company called Origami Owl. It was started by a 14 year old girl, who started her own business to save money for a car. Well her business exploded (in a good way) and now here it is!

Amanda is an independent designer for Origami Owl. She’ll help you design and customize jewelry that is reflective of your life and personality and all the things you love. These lockets are AWESOME! If you’re not into the locket style, there’s also a tag collection as well.

The lockets are offered in silver, gold, and rose gold, and there are SOOOOOO many ways they can be customized. They have something for everyone.

I chose a silver locket and chain, with a rose gold plate that says “Believe” and a smaller silver plate that says “Love”. These describe how I want to live my life.

Given the name of my blog, the 4-leaf clover and the “Good Luck” tag are obvious. Music is a HUGE part of my life, hence the eighth notes. And playing pool has become a pretty strong bond between Matt and I, so the eight ball kind of represents our love.

They are beautiful.

If you’re interested, either visit my sister’s website, or check out her facebook page:

www.amandakerns.origamiowl.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Origami-Owl-Amanda-Kerns-Independent-Designer/334811569962251

Love – Take a Step Back

So I think this one goes more towards us girls. We deny it all the time, but we do overreact sometimes. Sometimes. Maybe a little more than sometimes.

If you’re anything like me, you will fight to the death until someone is able to see things from your point of view. For me, I just want to make him understand! However, this can cause little issues to escalate into huge arguments that are really about nothing significant.

I for sure get pretty fired up pretty quick. I’ve got a mean, fast temper. And I’m stubborn. Blame it on the red hair.

How many arguments with your love have you had that you look back on and are like, wow that was dumb…

Matt and I once got in a full on yelling (crying on my part) fight about politics. After an hour of that we each apologized and admitted that neither one of us new a damn thing about politics and had no clue what we were even talking about. Then I laughed through my tears until my abs hurt, haha.

If you are able to recognize when an argument is stupid and pointless, that’s awesome. A really good first step.

What you want to be able to do is catch it before it happens. Not get upset in the first place. Hahaha, yeah right. Let’s face it, we’re women, it’s what we do. And seriously, how boring would life be if we never got fired up? Pretty boring I think. But maybe that’s just because I like fire. I’m a passionate person, so pretty much everything turns into a death match with me.

HOWEVER, if you can teach yourself to realize what’s going on in the midst of an argument, you’ll be able to end it that much quicker and get back to being a happy, cute couple.

Try to recognize the point that a fight gets out of hand. As soon as you realize that whatever it is, really isn’t worth fighting over, back off. Literally. In the middle of it, just stop. Think for a second. Realize that all it takes to potentially ruin a good relationship, is a really bad fight. Things are said that you don’t mean. People get cold and ruthless when they’re arguing and a lot of the time you can risk cutting a little too deep.

So if you can just pull yourself back, think: is this really worth this huge fight? Does this stupid argument really matter that much?

Take a step back. See it for what it is. A ridiculous fight over nothing. And just say, “hey, this is ridiculous. Can you believe we’re getting this pissed off over something this stupid? I love you and I’m sorry, let’s just forget about it, ok?”

And honestly, you and your partner are not going to have the exact same opinion on every single solitary subject matter. That would be weird and boring. And you’d be that weird, boring, identical couple that everyone thinks is odd. You don’t want that.

You’re going to have different ideas. You’re going to butt heads once in a while. You know the whole cheesy “you complete me” line? Well it kinda holds true. Where one of you are single minded, the other gives you variety. As a couple you can see different views of every picture.

When things get out of hand, take a step back. Think about whether it’s worth the anger, and the crying, and whatever else accompanies your quarrels.

Here’s the best part, girls. When you’re in the middle of yelling and crying at your man, NOTHING screws with their head more than just turning it off and suddenly being all better now. They’ll think it’s some kind of trap the first few times 😉

Love – Think

One of the biggest problems in many relationships is not thinking. Until it’s too late and the ship has sailed.

What you think and how you feel isn’t necessarily wrong, but if its something your partner may not be crazy about then you should really think about the wording and how its going to sound to them when you say it.

For example, lets say you’re a guy and you haven’t seen your girlfriend in a week or so due to things neither one of you could control (class, appointments, travel, work, etc). Finally on Saturday, you’re both free.

Let’s say you just got online to play video games with the guys.Your girl texts you and asks if she can come over. And yes fellas, I get it, you pay for that subscription, you can’t just stop in mid game, stats are at stake, blah blah blah, whatever. I get it. Its your thing. HOWEVER, it’s all about the delivery.

Instead of saying, “no, come over later, I’m playing video games”, which IS the truth, you can tell the truth in a different way. Say, “hey honey, I JUST told the guys I’d play for a bit. Can you give me an hour? and then I’d love to spend the rest of the day with you.”

Yes, she will probably bummed. BUT, had you went with the first option, she’d be pissed.

Today’s lesson, its not the content. It’s the delivery. It’s all in the words and how you say them.

So before you open you’re mouth and say exactly word for word what you’re thinking. Stop and THINK about what your thinking about (haha play on words!) and try to imagine how that might sound to the other person. Chances are, you can revise your first draft and turn it into something more acceptable, with less severe consequences.

Don’t think this doesn’t apply to you too ladies. I’ve definitely put my foot in my mouth many times.